I’ve been told for a long time that I’m a sinner. It’s an essential part of the Evangelical message—recognize that you’re a sinner. Repent. Come to Jesus.

I did all that, but… I’m still a sinner. What now?

It was such a blanket statement. Yes, I know I’m imperfect. I know I’ve done things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for them, so that’s good enough for repentance, right? You don’t have to think about the specific wrongs. If you’re sorry, Jesus will just wash it all away.

But the whole concept of spiritual cleanliness is different when you’re forced to face what wrongs have been done.

I didn’t expect Confession to be easy, and the first was something of a whirlwind. The “highlight reel,” in a sense, otherwise we’d have been sitting there all day. Or still. I got it over with as an essential step toward Confirmation, but it wasn’t until after I became a true and devoted Catholic did I realize the depth of that list of sins.

There were things I had left out. Some I’d just forgotten about, until I was driving home and yelled at a guy who’d cut me off in traffic. Oops. But there are others I hadn’t admitted to myself, either. It takes a while to understand the point of Confession. It’s not just telling a guy all the wrong you’ve done. It’s admitting it to yourself, too. That’s more difficult.

The first confession is something like a “trial run.” Get the big stuff out of the way. But after time, I’ve started to consider those little, nagging things. The ones that were “no big deal” at the time. Then, Confession became something more than just a requirement. We need it. Not just to feel better, but to truly admit our shortcoming to ourselves and our God.

I know the argument—you don’t need to confess your sins to some guy. While that may be true, isn’t faith also about keeping one another accountable? If you go to a personal trainer, you’re probably not going to skip out on the gym. If you go to Confession, you’re probably not going to gloss over those “little things” as much, either.

And being absolved feels pretty great, too.